Overcoming Anger

By Pastor Don Nicely

You are probably reading this brochure because you have a problem controlling your temper. You can probably remember many times in the past when you wish you would have controlled your temper better. For many people, uncontrolled anger is an emotion that is out of control. Even their best attempt to control this raging monster has been a failure and frustration to them as long as they can remember. If this sounds like you I’ve got some good news for you. You can have victory over uncontrolled anger!

Anger is best defined as an irritation or offense that arises when we don’t like something that is taking place in our life. It can range from a small irritation to a violent rage. Sometimes we are fair at controlling it and at other times we can’t control it at all.

Now before you beat yourself up too bad about having anger in your life you must understand that anger in itself is not necessarily bad. anger can be either constructive or destructive in nature. God has placed anger in our physical nature to use as a pop off valve in our personality. The problem is all too often we express it destructively. James 1:20 states, “20for the wrath of man does produce the righteousness of God.”

This proves that our anger can often be dangerous. Often we fail in the following areas;

  • We fail to see the whole picture; If we don’t consider the reasons why people are behaving the way they are we can get trapped in clouds of frustration.
  • We fail by directing our anger at wrong done to us; we for some reason feel that we have rights, so instead of acting in righteousness we react to hurts the wrong way. Friend Christians have no rights except the right to love.
  • Sometimes our anger takes the judgment seat and reacts the wrong way.
  • We fail if we are quick to lose control; Anger seeks immediate restitution. We must learn to not act from emotion, but instead from reason.
  • We fail if we would rather hurt someone instead of restore them; Because human beings suffer from imperfect love we want revenge instead of restoration. We want to come out on top of other people. We must give up our desire to get the best of our opponents.

    • Anger is sin when it does not contribute to truth, love and righteousness. The sin of anger is revealed in the following areas.

    • *Be careful not to take vengeance for yourself;Romans 12:19 (NKJV)19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
    • *Don’t verbally abuse other people;Proverbs 12:18 (NKJV)18There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
    • Concealing ill feelings toward others;Proverbs 27:6 (NKJV)6Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
    • Repressing your anger;There are many different constructive behaviors that we can use to defeat destructive behaviors with.

      • 1 Peter 4:8 (NKJV)8And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

      This verse states that we should use love to cover up most injustices done to us. The others are more serious and should be confronted. Our anger can be directed constructively if we use the following principles.

      1. Do not act out of personal hurt and refuse to avenge yourself as already stated in Romans 12:19. We must learn to rest in the promise that God will defend those who are treated unfairly by others.
      2. Don’t direct your anger toward the people that are involved, but focus on the problems caused by it.
      3. When a person commits a wrong toward you approach that person in a spirit of meekness and truly desire to see the offender restored;Galatians 6:1 (NKJV)1Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
      4. It is true that some offenses done against us require discipline, but we must use scripture as our guide;Romans 16:17 (NKJV)17Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.
        Ephesians 4:26 cautions us against allowing uncontrolled anger to rule in our lives. ”Be angry, and do not sin do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”

      Destructive effects of anger
      --It can destroy our testimony and reputation in the word;

      James 3:9 (NKJV)9With it we bless our God and Father, and with we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.

      --It can destroy the peace of the church with division and strife;

      James 3:9 (NKJV)9With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.

      --It can destroy the peace of the church with division and strife;

      Ephesians 4:31 (NKJV)31Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

      --Our homes become a place of tension and fear, and our loves ones are ultimately hurt by it;

      Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV)4And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

      --Many destructive attitudes can be passed on to our children as learned behavior;

      Proverbs 22:24-2524Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, 25Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.

      Now before you lose hope understand that God makes it clear that you have the power to control your anger. In Colossians 3:8 we are command 8But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

      This promise instructs us that we don’t have to accept the idea that a bad temper runs in the family. You must get rid of that false notion now, and take these progressive steps to achieve the victory necessary.

      The real test of our new commitment to bring anger under control happens when we irritated. When we feel the moments of temptation coming stop and apply the following steps to lead you to an overcoming victory.

      Simple steps to overcoming anger

      1. Confess your anger thoughts quickly…Most angry thoughts are destructive and carry sin with it. when you finally get a grip on your temper you must a confession quickly to prevent your anger from building up. 1 John 1:9
      2. Be careful to take control of your response to anger; Proverbs 16:32 & 15:1 warn us that what we say and how we say it will directly affect the outcome of situations.
      3. Practice forgiving people who offend us; Most conflicts that take place in our lives are the fault of both sides. We must remember that we are susceptible to error. Ephesians 4:22.
      4. Love your enemies and act in love…Remember that conflicts are over issues and not people. Try to avoid centering your focus on the person and concentrate on the problem. Our goal should always be to correct the problem and restore the whole person. Matthew 5:44.
      5. Learn to be patient with yourself. Understand that uncontrolled anger is a deadly enemy. You must have an absolute commitment to have the victory. Never give up and always ask God for help. He won’t give up on you.